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This is the reason why Rustum Beg,
Rajah of Kolazai,
Drinketh the "simpkin" and brandy peg,
Maketh the money to fly,
Vexeth a Government, tender and kind,
Also--but this is a detail--blind.
Rustum Beg of Kolazai--slightly backward Native State--
Lusted for a C. S. I.--so began to sanitate.
Built a Gaol and Hospital--nearly built a City drain--
Till his faithful subjects all thought their ruler was insane.
Strange departures made he then--yea, Departments stranger still,
Half a dozen Englishmen helped the Rajah with a will,
Talked of noble aims and high, hinted of a future fine
For the State of Kolazai, on a strictly Western line.
Rajah Rustum held his peace; lowered octroi dues one half;
Organized a State Police; purified the Civil Staff;
Settled cess and tax afresh in a very liberal way;
Cut temptations of the flesh--also cut the Bukhshi`s pay;
Roused his Secretariat to a fine Mahratta fury,
By a Hookum hinting at supervision of dasturi;
Turned the state of Kolazai very nearly upside--down;
When the end of May was nigh waited his achievement crown.
Then the Birthday honours came. Sad to state and sad to see,
Stood against the Rajah`s name nothing more than C. I. E.! x x x Things were lively for a week in the State of Kolazai, Even now the people speak of that time regretfully; How he disendowed the Gaol--stopped at once the City drain; Turned to beauty fair and frail--got his senses back again; Doubled taxes, cesses all; cleared away each new-built thana; Turned the two-lakh Hospital into a superb Zenana; Heaped upon the Bukhshi Sahib wealth and honours manifold; Clad himself in Eastern garb--squeezed his people as of old. Happy, happy Kolazai! Never more will Rustum Beg Play to catch the Viceroy`s eye. He prefers the "simpkin" peg.
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