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Язык: Русский

A Legend of the Foreign Office

 This is the reason why Rustum Beg,
 Rajah of Kolazai,
 Drinketh the "simpkin" and brandy peg,
 Maketh the money to fly,
 Vexeth a Government, tender and kind,
 Also--but this is a detail--blind.
 Rustum Beg of Kolazai--slightly backward Native State--
 Lusted for a C. S. I.--so began to sanitate.
 Built a Gaol and Hospital--nearly built a City drain--
 Till his faithful subjects all thought their ruler was insane.
 Strange departures made he then--yea, Departments stranger still,
 Half a dozen Englishmen helped the Rajah with a will,
 Talked of noble aims and high, hinted of a future fine
 For the State of Kolazai, on a strictly Western line.
 Rajah Rustum held his peace; lowered octroi dues one half;
 Organized a State Police; purified the Civil Staff;
 Settled cess and tax afresh in a very liberal way;
 Cut temptations of the flesh--also cut the Bukhshi`s pay;
 Roused his Secretariat to a fine Mahratta fury,
 By a Hookum hinting at supervision of dasturi;
 Turned the state of Kolazai very nearly upside--down;
 When the end of May was nigh waited his achievement crown.
 Then the Birthday honours came. Sad to state and sad to see,
 Stood against the Rajah`s name nothing more than C. I. E.!
 x x x
 Things were lively for a week in the State of Kolazai,
 Even now the people speak of that time regretfully;
 How he disendowed the Gaol--stopped at once the City drain;
 Turned to beauty fair and frail--got his senses back again;
 Doubled taxes, cesses all; cleared away each new-built thana;
 Turned the two-lakh Hospital into a superb Zenana;
 Heaped upon the Bukhshi Sahib wealth and honours manifold;
 Clad himself in Eastern garb--squeezed his people as of old.
 Happy, happy Kolazai! Never more will Rustum Beg
 Play to catch the Viceroy`s eye. He prefers the "simpkin" peg.

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